Birthday Cake - by Matoska - Anime - http://www.hellsingfanfic.net/hellsingfanfic/Birthday

Birthday Cake

Walter stood back silently watching the Draculina scurry about his kitchen busily grabbing items for Sir Integra’s surprise. Seras found out that it was Sir Hellsing’s birthday today and wanted to get something her Commander would enjoy. Seras didn’t really have the time or money to go shopping for anything, knowing Integra had a fondness for chocolate (what woman didn’t appreciate chocolate unless they were unfortunately allergic to it), she decided to make what she called a “Better than Sex” cake {the real recipe follows story if interested}. Walter had checked the recipe and found this cake was extremely heavy on the chocolate. He wondered if this cake would turnout at all or drop like a bomb with all that chocolate.

As she diligently gathered the required ingredients and utensils, sometimes with Walter’s assistance as Seras was not accustomed to this kitchen, the old butler couldn’t help but reflect on what an excellent wife she would make some lucky man one day. Then he sadly recalled that Seras was a vampire and not likely to ever have the opportunity to marry. Still one could hope that attitudes would change and one day the girl would be happily married or in a stable relationship. Certainly there was nothing stable here at Hellsing.

Finally she had the cake all baked and cooling so she could put the glaze on before serving. It had turned out quite well after all. As the cake cooled Seras decided to sit down for a few minutes which stretched into several hours as the young woman fell fast asleep. ‘It was after all,’ Walter thought, ‘the middle of her sleeping time.’ So he left her there ‘sleeping like the dead’.

As evening approached a certain elder Vampire awoke and headed to the kitchen for an early ration of blood. What Alucard did not expect to find was a sleeping Seras and a rather interesting looking cake. Despite what he told Seras, older Nosferatu could tolerate “human food” it just did not provide any nutrients or energy for them. Figuring there was no harm in trying the sweet smelling food in front of him, Alucard nibbled on a rather large spoonful of the confection. Liking what he was tasting, and having 2 rather large “sweet fangs”, the ancient vampire kept enjoying spoonful after spoonful until a little less than half of the cake remained! He then sauntered off to find a bag of blood in the special refrigerator.

It was shortly after Alucard left the kitchen that Walter returned to find Seras still asleep and over half her cake gone. Thinking how crushed the young vampire would be and blaming some of the piggish soldiers, Walter tried to make another cake to replace hers. He had just put the cake into the oven when Seras awoke and cried out “What happened to my cake for Sir Integra?!” Being what Walter considered a little “high strung” Seras’ eyes began to show signs of tears. Before the dam burst Walter ran over to her and patted her on the back while explaining, “My dear Miss Victoria, when I returned from completing several chores I found you still asleep and the cake as you see it. I believe some of the soldiers may have though it was a treat and ate it. I felt terrible and made another one which should be done shortly.”

“Oh Walter, thank you, but I wanted the cake to be form me to Sir Integra.” Seras stated. Walter thought a moment and then said “No one will know and from the looks of your cake it was very good. We could serve her a slice of your cake on a plate and have the other standing by for seconds. She’ll still get to enjoy the gift you made her.” Seras jumped up and hugged the old butler. “Oh Walter, you’re wonderful.” She told him before giving him a pecks on the cheek.

Walter couldn’t help but feel like it was his birthday with the hugs and kisses Seras showered upon him.

The two of them readied the cakes and took them up to Sir Integra’s office. Seras knocked on the door and waited. Upon hearing her commander finally say “Enter” she and Walter went in. “Happy Birthday Sir Integra” they said in unison. Walter then quickly added, “Miss Victoria baked this cake just for you.”

Integra was very surprised but without showing it she simply said “Thank you Police Girl.” Walter served her the slice of cake that remained from Seras’ cake which Integra enjoyed ravenously. Just as Walter was dishing up a second piece of cake, a certain red coated demon decided to join the group by literally popping up through the floor. Upon seeing the cake slice on the plate Alucard grabbed it and gobbled it down. Seras, Walter and Integra just stared at the Nosferatu dumbfounded. Did he really just eat Integra’s slice of cake?

Not missing the looks he was getting from the others in the room, Alucard asked with a huge smirk plastered on his pale face, “What?”

Walter having more experience with the ancient vampire than the two ladies present, asked “Alucard, did you eat the cake in the kitchen earlier?” Looking the Angel of Death in the eye the crafty vampire replied “Why yes I sampled it. It was quite delicious.”

Seras’ eyes turned a deep shade of crimson, the likes of which no one had ever seen them change before, and started trembling in her wrath. “Master” she forced through clenched teeth, “that was Sir Integra’s birthday present that you ate nearly all of.” The grin on Alucard’s face reached Cheshire Cat proportions as his little Police Girl’s wrath amused him no end. “Is that so, Police Girl? I saw no signs that cake was a gift for any one. It was just sitting there on the table begging to be eaten.”

He could never really say with any certainty exactly what hit him first. The dazed elder vampire found himself on the floor and in some serious pain unsure of how he got into this state. Walter would later recount for the Nosferatu that his Master, Sir Integra had launched a silver ashtray at his head just as Seras Victoria’s combat booted foot connected with his “privates” resulting in the vampire being stunned and in great pain on the floor while both women ranted on about “Y chromosome defectives” stealing chocolate birthday cakes being unforgivable.

It was several days later, after he had made a full recovery that Alucard swore never to eat any chocolate ever again for fear the women would castrate him in retaliation. He had heard such threats while curled up in pain on Integra’s office floor and feared they would make good on some of those threats. Chocolate he decided was for the women. He would stick to blood-wine as it was far safer for him.

Title: BETTER THAN SEX CAKE
Yield: 6 servings

1 pkg German chocolate cake mix
Or deep chocolate cake mix
1 cup Sour cream
4 Large eggs
3/4 cup Pecans, toasted & chopped
1/4 cup Coffee
2 pkg 12-oz semisweet choc chips (real chocolate like Bakers brand)
2 tsp Vanilla, divided
1 cup Water
1 pkg 4-oz instant chocolate pudding mix
1/2 cup Oil

This comes from the Harvard-Yale-Princeton Club in Pittsburgh:
Coat nuts & half the chips with 1 Tbs cake mix and set aside. Combine cake mix, pudding mix, sour cream, eggs, oil, coffee & 1 tsp vanilla. Beat at med speed for 3 mins. Fold in chocolate chips and nuts. Turn into greased & floured tube pan and bake at 350 for 1 hr or until done. Cool for 15 mins and turn onto rack. Cool completely before glazing. (Cake freezes well without glaze).

GLAZE: Combine remaining chips with 1 cup water in top of double boiler over simmering water. Stir until smooth & shiny. Remove from heat and add 1 tsp vanilla. Chill until slightly thickened, and then drizzle over cake.

END

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Page Updated Mon Sep 7, 2009 12:04am EDT